When somebody in a group has done something wrong, and people stereotype the whole group, making everyone guilty of what somebody else did—that qualifies as a LIE. Such is the case with the subject of this article. I want to bring clarity to one accusation commonly used against believers.

Recently a sincere, good-hearted young counselor called on me for advice surrounding conversations she was having with a group exploring the Church vs. LGBT. She asked me, “How do believers address this issue knowing that the church has done a terrible job with it.”

I paused, then said, “You just made an absolute statement that is inaccurate and unfounded when you stated that “the church has done a terrible job with it.” In my travels, and in almost all of the circles of faith I am associated with, I would say that the churches I know have done a fantastic job. I’ve heard this accusation against the church many times. It is just not true enough to make a stereotypical assertion. It stereotypes the whole church into what only part of the church is guilty of. And I agree that many of God’s people ARE guilty of being insensitive, unkind, and hateful in this matter. But,” I continued, “let me share with you some reasons I’ve discovered that people falsely accuse the church of being insensitive in cases where they are not.”  

No matter what the issue is, some churches, some believers, are going to miss the mark and misrepresent the heart of God on issues such as this. But I perceive that multitudes of evangelical, Bible-believing churches are doing a great job, and I am in relationship with many.

Thoughts on the Church’s Posture Toward the LGBT Community

As in every issue, you have black-and-white-truth people and you have mercy people. Every wholesome team ought to have both. Each side needs the other side. (Welcome to marriage!) Where much of the condemnation against the church arises is that the LGBT community doesn’t like the church proclaiming the truth. When you call out sin, the way Jesus did, or define destructive behavior, even when you do it with a heart of compassion and love, you may be accused of “judging,” (one of the most misused terms in the world), or insensitivity.

• Has the church done a terrible job simply because they oppose same-sex marriage?

• Has the church done a terrible job because they teach that same-sex attraction is almost always a result of a father/mother wound, sexual abuse, or other sexual trauma in ones life? It is not politically correct to say that there can be an emotional issue driving same-sex attraction, a mentality that hides healing from those who need it.

• Are the people of God the bad-guys and gals because they proclaim that it is impossible to change your sex—an overwhelmingly proven scientific and biological fact. (XX or XY is inscribed on every cell of your body, according to one of the leading pioneers of genetics in the world.) Are we wrong when we warn people that trans people have a whopping 20% higher suicide rate, that sexual abuse is behind a large percentage of reasons why people want to change their sex, that the lie that changing your sex will help you to be happier is what drives many if not most of them into a far deeper chasm of depression, that when they change sex at a young age, and then grow up and realize what they’ve done, or that they will never be able to have children, that they will severely regret their choice, and likely blame the poor parents that allowed or encouraged it. (You want to hear stats on this? Go to sexchangeregret.com for astounding truth that won’t make it to the news or social media outlets.)

• Is the church to be condemned because they believe that human sex is binary—there are only two genders, not 5, 10, or 22.

I realize that the way many believers have treated same-sex people has been LESS than the heart of God. I addressed this non-compassionate approach when I, at my church, taught on “The Lies of the Same-Sex Agenda.” In it I pointed out the hypocrisy of heterosexuals who have “normal” biologically-aligned sexuality, and can’t kick the porno habit. I say, “You have a normal sexuality and can’t control it, yet you condemn somebody that has a MIS-aligned sexuality and can’t control it. Based on that fact alone, I think the same-sex-er may qualify for more mercy than thou!” The majority of same-sex people didn’t choose the way their sexual physiology operates.

I have worked as a counselor for decades with people who have same-sex attractions. The people I have worked with hate with a passion their own sexuality. I fight with God on why so many sincere-hearted people don’t get free no matter how many times they’ve been to an altar at a church. But then again, I had to realize this it is no different from the drug addict who never seems to shake his addiction. No different from the guy or gal that struggles all their life to shake shame or rejection. I don’t have all those answers., but I have and do see people getting free of these issues in a massive way—even same-sex attraction.

But I have seen…

What I have seen, though, in the church are two things that seem to oppose each other, but they don’t—they support each other. The two things are compassion for the people, and not compromising the truth. The LGBT community at large (not all of them) expects the compassion for the people, but condemns the necessary not compromising the truth.

In Conclusion

I believe believers need to love and accept people who have same-sex attraction. Having same-sex attraction is different from acting out ones same-sex attraction. There are people in my church that are tempted by alcoholism, drugs, or porn. But they fight victoriously. There are gay people who fight their desires every day. But they fight victoriously.

Have compassion, have consistency, have truth, proclaim principles that heal, and seek redemption for all!